A Walk in the Rain

“A simple walk around the park,” was all she said as she walked out the door. Her family was disturbed by the sudden exit and the blunt answer to their question, but she didn’t care. As she walked out the door the wind grazed her cheeks adding a hint of color to her washed out face. The pale light that shone out from the clouds and reflected from the snow covered earth cast an unmistakable glow about her. She walked with a radiance and confidence that no man was able to match, but her eyes told a different story, they were empty, no joy, no sadness, they were void of all emotions. She watched her step as she walked, careful not to fall, for she well knew that no one would catch her. Even with the radiance and the pseudo-confidence she exuded she knew that the emptiness in her eyes reflected the emptiness that occurred in her life. She pondered the extent of her damage as she walked, with each step skimming the surface of the snow, barely displacing enough to be noticed. The only thing that proved she had ever existed were the definite footprints which followed her closely every where she went.

She began to feel the overwhelming nature of the cold, which urged her to take shelter. She showed signs of disappointment, if only for a moment, because she knew that she couldn’t continue without the needed stop, yet she dreaded stopping. It was Christmas time and she absolutely despised Christmas time. The warmth from the fire, the family togetherness and the Christmas spirit, she loathed them all.

For a moment she contemplated what it would mean to go back home. She dismissed the thought almost immediately, thinking that she would be better off sitting on a snow covered bench in Central Park watching the happy couples ride by in the horse drawn sleighs. So that is what she did. She found an old, stone bench in the park and proceeded to watch the couples as they rode by.

Now as the sun began to set, and the wind began to pick up she knew that soon she must follow her now snow covered footprints back to her home. The glow that had settled on her cheeks had now faded and she knew that it wouldn’t return.

Once she arrived at her house she stood for a moment on the front step, hand on the frozen knob. She could hear them inside, her so called family. They were laughing and singing and carrying on as if it didn’t matter if she were with them or not. At the sound of the laughter she removed her hand from the knob and turned to face the street. With tears silently escaping from her baby blue eyes, she walked away. She headed down the dimly lit street leaving only footprints that would soon be covered by the December snow.