A Walk in the Rain

I adore these songs right now:

Albatross, Albatross, Albatross – Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band
Ignorance – Paramore
Savior – Ride Against
Break – Three Days Grace
Uprising – Muse
. That’s all.

So life hasn’t been that bad. I’m still upset I have to get my teeth removed Wed. but I will get over that. Right now all I care about is getting them out because my jaw hurts so bad. Anyway, Erica spent the weekend with me, that was a blast. I adore that girl. We watched Disney movies and pigged out per usual. She helped me a lot with my, situation. I explained everything to her and she gave me her honest opinion that you can’t forget true love and so if he truly does love me he won’t be able to forget. I really hope she is right. I would die if he was able to forget me. I mean it would be like the last 8 months meant so little that he was able to forget them all within 2 months. I know that isn’t true. I know how much he really cares. So he can’t forget right? He really loves me so he will never forget me right? I want him to be happy and to be able to deal with everything that is going on. I really do, but the thought of him finding a replacement girl kills me. I am suppose to be his only one. My head hurts from all of this. I don’t know what to think anymore. I know he loves me, but with what he said about trying to find someone else, if he is serious then what? I don’t know, I’m all out of answers. I wish I knew what he was thinking. And if he truly does want to move on then I do hope he finds someone amazing, I just want that person to always be me. So if you love me like I know you do, don’t forget me, that is if you even read this anymore, which I’m sure by now you don’t seeing as how you said you wanted to forget me. But in case you do read it, those are my thoughts. I miss you. I really do. I want to be back with you. I don’t want to think that in this time your arms could be around anyone else. I guess I’m just being selfish, I don’t want to have to share you, even though right now, you aren’t mine. I still love you. Please don’t move on without me.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.

A quote I found that I liked, not exactly the situation at all, but I liked it non the less. It’s like saying if a bird fly’s back then it is yours. But keeps reminding me to fight. That he’s still waiting for me out there somewhere.  Maybe it’s something that only makes sense in my mind, I’ve come to realize that there is a lot of stuff that only makes sense to me, but that is how I see it. An encouragement to continue to fight to be with him once again. Also this one:

We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

I just thought that was funny and cute.

A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress.

And this one is obviously from the bible, but still an amazing saying and what I try to do. Be there for all my friends when life  gets hard or when they need help the most.

How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it.

Aw, this is so true. .

Goodbye.

That’s not what I meant by that, I meant that you don’t care to hear me complain, at least it didn’t seem like you did. I hate this, I’m so sick of it. Even when I want to talk all I get is alright’s, and ok’s. I can’t tell you anything any more without feeling as though I am talking to a wall.